This collection of spontaneous stories and thoughts was written in Spanish and is being edited in English.
AVENUE
"I was in a brand-new Benz with a brand new owner, a pretty girl by my side singing and pushing the fastens, the music was loud and the sensation intense. By that time, the USA avenues were unknown to me, so my feelings were between lost and afraid. The beautiful girl didn't stop speaking, I had two radios turned on around me and that made the situation scarier. I never took my eyes out of the road, unlike hers who repeatedly screamed at me. Suddenly, we heard a loud shotgun and we both looked at each other with enlarged pupils, almost instantly, a heavy duck fell on the windshield. The slam on the brakes and the fast turn were movie style, the speed made the car slip like taking pizza out of the oven, next thing we slid and flipped over doing two laps in the air. Thank god we were using seat belts! The car landed on its four wheels and turned over two more times. When we were in the air our hands collided. After the impact, we checked our bodies and just some tiny cuts had been inevitable. The duck was still attached to the shattered glass and full of blood, which now was entering the car. We got out and went to the side of the road while watching all the cars stopping and getting down to check on the protagonists of the Hollywood scene. When we got there, the girl hugged me tightly and cried, I hugged her back.
AVENUE
"I was in a brand-new Benz with a brand new owner, a pretty girl by my side singing and pushing the fastens, the music was loud and the sensation intense. By that time, the USA avenues were unknown to me, so my feelings were between lost and afraid. The beautiful girl didn't stop speaking, I had two radios turned on around me and that made the situation scarier. I never took my eyes out of the road, unlike hers who repeatedly screamed at me. Suddenly, we heard a loud shotgun and we both looked at each other with enlarged pupils, almost instantly, a heavy duck fell on the windshield. The slam on the brakes and the fast turn were movie style, the speed made the car slip like taking pizza out of the oven, next thing we slid and flipped over doing two laps in the air. Thank god we were using seat belts! The car landed on its four wheels and turned over two more times. When we were in the air our hands collided. After the impact, we checked our bodies and just some tiny cuts had been inevitable. The duck was still attached to the shattered glass and full of blood, which now was entering the car. We got out and went to the side of the road while watching all the cars stopping and getting down to check on the protagonists of the Hollywood scene. When we got there, the girl hugged me tightly and cried, I hugged her back.
I do not if we were lucky that time, but the fall was precise. The final scene was the hug, an improvised meeting from a fourth-dimension love. Everybody running towards us, the car in the middle of the track turned into nothing and an unforgettable experience. I keep waiting for unexpected turns, but not precisely like these."
MY SNEAKERS
Picking a pair of shoes could be difficult for some people, but not for me, I like them Nike and I love them to be basketball sneakers, not just shoes. When I feel comfortable, I walk the city without worries—escaping from everything, that everything which sometimes exerts pressure on my day to day. I also feel that my sneakers are like this keyboard, a way of withdrawing from normal and jumping into a different place: subtle, comfy, curious. In that sense, these letters seem to be more powerful than the sneakers. By writing I go to the beach to relax myself, I go to know the wonders of the world, the oriental culture, its diligence and dedication. I go to the past and meet medieval poets (sometimes incomprehensible but very laborious). I go to the future where my grandchildren will meet half-invisible-speaking dolphins (the famous holograms), together with automobile tracks in the air. I can explore the sensations and emotions of other people, I can imagine myself doing things that I have never lived before, like owning a mansion and living with luxuries and comforts or traveling to my country of origin for a social cause, etc... Ahhh, well, this is not what I want to live right now, but I understand that now I am in a perfect moment, a right place, thinking the right thing, that's the present, the present in which I move through my basketball sneakers, my writings, that’s my life, the one that is happening now, the one that makes me feel somewhat hungry for food, but hungrier for continuing with my writings. At this moment I think that I am educating that sense, my sense of writing just a little more, a practice that I have been feeling for a long time, a practice that makes me walk better, even better than with my basketball sneakers.
FROM THE ABSTRACT
Like a cloud I feel, making various shapes, creating various shapes in me, I am an elephant, a tree, sometimes I am a person who never has been contemplated, so different, a four-wings-bird, sometimes am just one color, I'd love being the gold color, it's amazing; It seems that sometimes I also tell stories, the ones murmuring in the town that your family is part of, mine can come from anywhere, I come from the indigenous, slaves, I come from conquerors, philosophers, I come from the first men who inhabited the earth. I love Lascaux, I love Greek mythology, “I come from the earth”, some people say in a tribe here in Latin America, “we are seeds”. I really remember some thoughts, I take what matters most to me, some faces survive more in my memory than others, am still the cloud that travels, that is carried away by the wind, I'd love to be out for a walk seeing landscapes and cities, people and customs, the old man who lives alone and far away, the young man who built his company very young and now he gives talks to gigantic groups, I want to know the Tepui’s, if I am that cloud I can go, and better yet, I can go flying, without fading because I'm a solid cloud, which stumbles over mountains but is not extinguished, it surrounds plateaus and jump volcanoes, I am that kind of cloud... such a friend of the air... a companion of the heights, sometimes I talk to the universe and I convince it to help me, to guide me to a better place, now I'm doing it while I write, and now, the universe has brought me to that great place.
NOW POSITIVE DAYS
Generally, that wasn’t happening, the opposite always was the case, sensations of perfection approaching me, but that day, after the funny fall in the water meter, everything was in decline. This was followed by the terrifying experience of the bus, a few of my coins fell to the floor where many people passed, time was short and getting to the office was urgent, I arrived with a few drops of water in the forehead and the fiery look of my boss was presented with some screams that I didn’t even hear because of the beginning of the day I was having. What a morning! What a way to get up! like when one is deeply sleep and the phone rings, it’s just the way it is, huh? Maybe it was a day that I brought that bad energy of wondering what could be worse? And then: the bad attention of the waiter at the restaurant, the pain in the knee, the endless rain, the broken umbrella, bah!
Although I always remember that day, now I wake up differently, a positive thought addresses my body, my words generate smiles, supposedly I always get up with my right foot and no longer fall on the counter with my left, I mean, everything is the same as before, is like everything that happens is perfect, made for me, setbacks, yes, damage, some, late arrivals, a few, although I don't like them; that's why I get up early, I think about how excellent my day will be, despite all the projects that I have not been able to carry out, because little by little some have been coming out, step by step, I want them to become leaps and bounds, but I have patience and respect for what I live; I remember so much the day that I fell while it was raining, all the people next to me laughing, and me, hiding my gestures of pain. I imagine what could happen next, maybe someone who trips me, or crashing a police officer, I’ll not attract those blows again, they’ll arrive, yes, strong or soft, whatever, what interests me is to think that they make a natural part of my life, a positive path, full of good energy, smiles, clarity, friendship, many values within me, that fills me more with passion and that’s what I want to reveal, next to it I want to rebel, there are good things in front of me that I don't want to miss because I'm thinking what I shouldn't think, what I should think is for the good, my good, good for the others, for everybody, because the world interests me too much, so now, I am always positive.
EXHILARATING EXPLORATION
At that moment I thought it was okay to kick that ball, but when I hit the Mrs. on the head, the decision changed in tone, it turned into a red color, an internal laugh overwhelmed my mind. I went to help her, but it was so far that when I arrived, she was already recovering, apparently after the blow there was only a certain resentment, then my presentation came up, my excuse. Some kids, the owners of the ball, laughed next to her without stopping and I, with the UFO in my hand, touched the old woman’s back, who looked like a sweet mother. It was very windy, maybe I didn't calculate that, maybe I didn't calculate the hardness of my boots, I just felt like kicking that ball, that moment as a child came to my memory when something was close I had to play with it, everything was a toy and the world around turned white, I know, during the event I couldn't remember it, but was just an instinctive act, one of those that makes me feel alive, one of those acts that I just wanted to explore without seeing the consequences. I'm no longer a child but keep happening, I like that, I just hope not to hit a giant with a stone, well, unless I want to… This is my text, my story, my exploration, my imagined experience, my little way out of what’s happening to me, that creation that all can, that point at which everything changes and becomes a projection, an image, a verse, a way of drawing my being with tranquility, is just a book that begins.
SILENT STORM
I believe more in it than in the uproar, it seems to me more consequential, as they say, a barking dog never bites. I am, I want to be that, small, silent, still, I want to wait, know when to jump, I want to see what people do and then Yes, attack, create my storm, my thunder, lightning. That´s what I am, I am time, more than a few seconds, I am that hope that after of perceiving I take out everything, but not a little, not much, what´s necessary, sometimes too strong, It amazes, other times it scares, or it passes by, like a whole day with a grayish sky, a dark day, that says something, that says, take care of yourself, take shelter, escape, lest you get wet and sick, that strength I want to be, those waves of an annoying, brave, furious wind, all this, but not disrespectful, not insane and stupid, but natural, simple, uncomplicated, the kind of storm that tells you something amazing, supernatural, first shines of gigantic sunshine, that heats the tops of the buildings of this city and some parks, then the storm, the one that arrives without warning, the one that makes people wonder, where did it come from? How did it come? You couldn't see it coming, but here it is, hydrating thoughts with ice, cooling minds, that's what I want to be, a silent storm, a cold that is hush, that's silent.
PENCILS
Letters behind them, drawings, songs, melodies, answers, imperfect questions, almost like everything, sometimes the abstract is good, but perfect is only what we see, which makes me feel passion, allows me to move my hands freely, in a class, in a meeting, pencils are my memory, my reminisce, my photographs, they are my imagination, I think they are my course. First, before being in front of this keyboard, that's how I wrote, and I still feel better when I write with them, different colors and inks, some softer than others, I feel so good when they are finished. Lately I have finished many and very fast, sometimes I write for half an hour, I have to rest my arm, I think it’s something that we should all develop, like painting, like meditating, it’s so important to live creative relationships with life, you have to get to know yourself, create awareness, the “now” for many like me is a hobby, and you have to seize it, read, take care of your health, act, socialize, every moment that we choose badly, we are left behind, it happens to me too and it’s constant, but here I am, finding myself again, and I think it will work, I think it will be great, strengthen myself, overcome fears, take risks, keep writing, keep believing in this pencil that tells me, stay, make of me a thousand letters, millions of words, believe in my thoughts, I want to be a source of life, like you, like anyone who is capable of believing their pencils, or their imagination.
LIGTHS
I go the same way as yesterday, looking at the landscape through the window, it rains, the sky is gray and the drops hit the glass, I arrive at a place where it hails, then remember a bad moment, a bad decision, which marked me so much and I don't feel well, it bothers me, as Gabriel says, those little things are like the pebble in the shoe, how difficult it’s to remove that pebble, how difficult it is to forget the subject. I take out my book and start reading, I don't read the analysis of the work of a critic, I just want to read the work, the creation, I think that gives me more light, it illuminates me more, after reading for a while I see the landscape again, Colombia is full of mountains, vegetation, I get so used to that color that in part is what makes me live. Now the clouds walk next to me, they are like friends of my trip, they inspire me to take out my notebook now, to make the proper notes, my thoughts are writed down, my parnassus grows up, my Latin American diary gets fat, although it’s not only mine, I leave it here, but that’s not all, It’s just a part, I don’t think it’s the best but perhaps that will become. Now I see a paramo in the distance, a few white clouds, the eternal blue that I love, I keep it in my memory and I feel that it makes me grow, like the trip I’m on, the one I recently undertook, the sun is also in the background, caressing the snow, melting it, heating it, the light is perfect, the view too, this memory must be traced, a photo from my cell phone, a wink of my right eye, one more writing, a light on, a spotlight, a candle, an endless match has just been lit, those are my lights, I hope they never turn off, never extinguish.
UP
Up there, the place we are part of, that's at the beginning, and we're still there, well, some of us. Today I was waiting for good news and on the contrary it disappointed me, it happens frequently, all the time, sometimes I’m not as victorious as I want to be, you put all your effort in a project, I work hard, I’m constant, run when I have to, rest a little, make the most of my time, ask different people, go here or there, I embark on endless days, my energy runs out, all this in order to achieve that ideal, that long-awaited answer, that "yes" brilliant that I think would open my eyes and smile from ear to ear, but it doesn’t come, and it’s so definitive, nothing can change it, although that's the way it is, decisions are made and when one realizes the wrong it’s impossible to go back , and really, why go back? Sometimes things turn out so well, they are like perfect, as if each life were a song, a symphony, made by Mozart or Beethoven, whoever does well gets well, whoever does not, well, you will see, a symphony somehow terrifying will be created, and I don't want that, that's why I'm here, that's why I start to write with the vision of winning something, of getting the good, winning the good, that's what I want; therefore when I fall, when I get frustrated, when I get defeat, when I lose, I think how easy it’s to get up, how easy it’s to see the sky, as easy as setting another challenge, another goal, because I know that after the defeat, what saves me, so as not to panic, is that, looking for another way, forgetting and resisting, renewing, putting a sharper, more serious, more complex goal, that will strengthen me and make me win what I want one day, that much longed-for prize that I am looking for now, it may not be the next, but I know that when I look up there’s hope and there I want to continue seeing, and then speak only of triumphs, the ones I see when I continue to see there. Up.
PASSION
For a moment I was in stillness, after thinking that I could never achieve it, I thought my effort wasn’t enough, something stopped me, what was it? Was it a wall? A moment in my life?... It was a time of tension, things didn´t work out anywhere: job, study, home, things always difficult to deal with, youth arrived without warning and I only carried more weight in my backpack of books and notebooks. One has to focus very well to take out all of it, one has to feel free, and that's what we are, freedom, that’s what I represent now, nothing stops me, that wall is no longer there. It says it’s oneself, oneself builds it and destroys it whenever one want, sometimes it becomes easy and other times it takes time, I want to leave it behind, obstacles, they must be overcome every moment. A bath of cold water transports me to reality, music takes me out of it, black or white? Cold or hot? Balance? Everything is very relative, relevant. Being on two places at the same time, not even with my arms; but nothing is impossible, so now I get up again, I work, write, think, get ideas, let the good flows, I think that's my passion, let the things flow, sometimes the places I´m in do not convince me, but I may see a smile, that fills me, makes me move on, passion doesn´t seem like something that only some people have, it doesn´t seem to come from work or a place, it doesn´t seem to be far from me, I think it´s everywhere, in everything I see, what I feel, what I want and don´t want. I want to live the passion but not because of screams or football teams, I want to live my passion living, living in harmony, in peace, friendship, I believe that passion is in values more than in things, it seems to me that passion is more in the way I see life, in how I feel, in the curiosity that I have to explore here or there, I don´t think passion could be seen, it´s just something that is out there prowling, anywhere, and that must be caught regardless the circumstance.
KEEP THE LINE
Today the sun rises over the city, an infinite blue enters and small clouds appear over the mountain, they are white, at noon they settle on me, on the streets, the sounds of the cars are constant, endless, I liked it a lot the wind plus the sun, that softness pushing me forward while the sun warms my body, I want to be outside all the time, walking, knowing, greeting people, meeting them, being part of their lives, entering life and not leaving it, that should be my constant search, start, begin, deliver, smile, play, feed life with my energy, my writing is part of it, to give, propose new words, create them and recreate them, although sometime I could invent one or another, I know I can because I want to, you don't need many reasons when you want to live inspired, that inspiration often gets to be welcomed by others, and through my words others are created. Last time we came to the conclusion with a friend that when one thinks, when one writes, works, plays sports, becomes stronger in any activity, and in another place, very far from oneself, that is felt, a certain power reaches there and new forms of life are produced, other people create, smile, move, children play, pigeons all rise together, that seems impossible to believe, right? but after analyzing nature a bit, it´s true, we’re all connected and as I am doing this it seems that I am catching the inspiration that a man in Africa is having, I´m making it palpable through my words and thoughts, I hope that what I write here also inspires another person to build their dream.
TODAY
Today I start to write a blog, one more story, one more text, I hope to be better, better than yesterday, I haven’t forgotten to write, because I have always had it in my mind, I always wanted to do it, although I was always a bit disorganized too. I hope to write a lot of stories, letters, novels, perceptions about what I see and feel, and I hope they remain in the memory of some people, and I hope they also forget some others of my stories, I don’t know if this will be good, I don’t know if someone will like it or just me, what I know is that today I want to write, and tomorrow too, to think in something I love (I love creating), write a script for a movie, write a script for radio, I like to set tasks and do them the best possible, a person who writes always wants to improve himself, it’s true, I want to improve myself all the time, every moment, I don’t like doing work without motivation, I like to do things well, everything, who knows why? Before, when I had to run errands, I didn’t like it, but while I went and came back I forgot what I was doing, I just did it and had fun while walking, while playing, while learning new things; now, people speak to me about criteria, criticism, something that I had not wanted to understand much, I am rather someone who always wants to see positive things, but I do it, I have criteria, and I think I always had it; I laughed a lot, acts, people, facts, I always brought a small smile from things, but also about dresses, thoughts, words, I realize that I don't like everything, I have already formed a lot of my being to focus on things disconnected of me, I am just a part of the earth, a part of history, and I want to be an important part of this, a particle that shines, a word that is remembered, a note that is played, sung, I love this writing and since I have done it for a long time in notebooks, in my mind I have decided to write to the world, so he knows that there is someone who favors him, one more person who cares about giving something, a seed, a sigh, a day of his life, today.
MY SNEAKERS
Picking a pair of shoes could be difficult for some people, but not for me, I like them Nike and I love them to be basketball sneakers, not just shoes. When I feel comfortable, I walk the city without worries—escaping from everything, that everything which sometimes exerts pressure on my day to day. I also feel that my sneakers are like this keyboard, a way of withdrawing from normal and jumping into a different place: subtle, comfy, curious. In that sense, these letters seem to be more powerful than the sneakers. By writing I go to the beach to relax myself, I go to know the wonders of the world, the oriental culture, its diligence and dedication. I go to the past and meet medieval poets (sometimes incomprehensible but very laborious). I go to the future where my grandchildren will meet half-invisible-speaking dolphins (the famous holograms), together with automobile tracks in the air. I can explore the sensations and emotions of other people, I can imagine myself doing things that I have never lived before, like owning a mansion and living with luxuries and comforts or traveling to my country of origin for a social cause, etc... Ahhh, well, this is not what I want to live right now, but I understand that now I am in a perfect moment, a right place, thinking the right thing, that's the present, the present in which I move through my basketball sneakers, my writings, that’s my life, the one that is happening now, the one that makes me feel somewhat hungry for food, but hungrier for continuing with my writings. At this moment I think that I am educating that sense, my sense of writing just a little more, a practice that I have been feeling for a long time, a practice that makes me walk better, even better than with my basketball sneakers.
FROM THE ABSTRACT
Like a cloud I feel, making various shapes, creating various shapes in me, I am an elephant, a tree, sometimes I am a person who never has been contemplated, so different, a four-wings-bird, sometimes am just one color, I'd love being the gold color, it's amazing; It seems that sometimes I also tell stories, the ones murmuring in the town that your family is part of, mine can come from anywhere, I come from the indigenous, slaves, I come from conquerors, philosophers, I come from the first men who inhabited the earth. I love Lascaux, I love Greek mythology, “I come from the earth”, some people say in a tribe here in Latin America, “we are seeds”. I really remember some thoughts, I take what matters most to me, some faces survive more in my memory than others, am still the cloud that travels, that is carried away by the wind, I'd love to be out for a walk seeing landscapes and cities, people and customs, the old man who lives alone and far away, the young man who built his company very young and now he gives talks to gigantic groups, I want to know the Tepui’s, if I am that cloud I can go, and better yet, I can go flying, without fading because I'm a solid cloud, which stumbles over mountains but is not extinguished, it surrounds plateaus and jump volcanoes, I am that kind of cloud... such a friend of the air... a companion of the heights, sometimes I talk to the universe and I convince it to help me, to guide me to a better place, now I'm doing it while I write, and now, the universe has brought me to that great place.
NOW POSITIVE DAYS
Generally, that wasn’t happening, the opposite always was the case, sensations of perfection approaching me, but that day, after the funny fall in the water meter, everything was in decline. This was followed by the terrifying experience of the bus, a few of my coins fell to the floor where many people passed, time was short and getting to the office was urgent, I arrived with a few drops of water in the forehead and the fiery look of my boss was presented with some screams that I didn’t even hear because of the beginning of the day I was having. What a morning! What a way to get up! like when one is deeply sleep and the phone rings, it’s just the way it is, huh? Maybe it was a day that I brought that bad energy of wondering what could be worse? And then: the bad attention of the waiter at the restaurant, the pain in the knee, the endless rain, the broken umbrella, bah!
Although I always remember that day, now I wake up differently, a positive thought addresses my body, my words generate smiles, supposedly I always get up with my right foot and no longer fall on the counter with my left, I mean, everything is the same as before, is like everything that happens is perfect, made for me, setbacks, yes, damage, some, late arrivals, a few, although I don't like them; that's why I get up early, I think about how excellent my day will be, despite all the projects that I have not been able to carry out, because little by little some have been coming out, step by step, I want them to become leaps and bounds, but I have patience and respect for what I live; I remember so much the day that I fell while it was raining, all the people next to me laughing, and me, hiding my gestures of pain. I imagine what could happen next, maybe someone who trips me, or crashing a police officer, I’ll not attract those blows again, they’ll arrive, yes, strong or soft, whatever, what interests me is to think that they make a natural part of my life, a positive path, full of good energy, smiles, clarity, friendship, many values within me, that fills me more with passion and that’s what I want to reveal, next to it I want to rebel, there are good things in front of me that I don't want to miss because I'm thinking what I shouldn't think, what I should think is for the good, my good, good for the others, for everybody, because the world interests me too much, so now, I am always positive.
EXHILARATING EXPLORATION
At that moment I thought it was okay to kick that ball, but when I hit the Mrs. on the head, the decision changed in tone, it turned into a red color, an internal laugh overwhelmed my mind. I went to help her, but it was so far that when I arrived, she was already recovering, apparently after the blow there was only a certain resentment, then my presentation came up, my excuse. Some kids, the owners of the ball, laughed next to her without stopping and I, with the UFO in my hand, touched the old woman’s back, who looked like a sweet mother. It was very windy, maybe I didn't calculate that, maybe I didn't calculate the hardness of my boots, I just felt like kicking that ball, that moment as a child came to my memory when something was close I had to play with it, everything was a toy and the world around turned white, I know, during the event I couldn't remember it, but was just an instinctive act, one of those that makes me feel alive, one of those acts that I just wanted to explore without seeing the consequences. I'm no longer a child but keep happening, I like that, I just hope not to hit a giant with a stone, well, unless I want to… This is my text, my story, my exploration, my imagined experience, my little way out of what’s happening to me, that creation that all can, that point at which everything changes and becomes a projection, an image, a verse, a way of drawing my being with tranquility, is just a book that begins.
SILENT STORM
I believe more in it than in the uproar, it seems to me more consequential, as they say, a barking dog never bites. I am, I want to be that, small, silent, still, I want to wait, know when to jump, I want to see what people do and then Yes, attack, create my storm, my thunder, lightning. That´s what I am, I am time, more than a few seconds, I am that hope that after of perceiving I take out everything, but not a little, not much, what´s necessary, sometimes too strong, It amazes, other times it scares, or it passes by, like a whole day with a grayish sky, a dark day, that says something, that says, take care of yourself, take shelter, escape, lest you get wet and sick, that strength I want to be, those waves of an annoying, brave, furious wind, all this, but not disrespectful, not insane and stupid, but natural, simple, uncomplicated, the kind of storm that tells you something amazing, supernatural, first shines of gigantic sunshine, that heats the tops of the buildings of this city and some parks, then the storm, the one that arrives without warning, the one that makes people wonder, where did it come from? How did it come? You couldn't see it coming, but here it is, hydrating thoughts with ice, cooling minds, that's what I want to be, a silent storm, a cold that is hush, that's silent.
PENCILS
Letters behind them, drawings, songs, melodies, answers, imperfect questions, almost like everything, sometimes the abstract is good, but perfect is only what we see, which makes me feel passion, allows me to move my hands freely, in a class, in a meeting, pencils are my memory, my reminisce, my photographs, they are my imagination, I think they are my course. First, before being in front of this keyboard, that's how I wrote, and I still feel better when I write with them, different colors and inks, some softer than others, I feel so good when they are finished. Lately I have finished many and very fast, sometimes I write for half an hour, I have to rest my arm, I think it’s something that we should all develop, like painting, like meditating, it’s so important to live creative relationships with life, you have to get to know yourself, create awareness, the “now” for many like me is a hobby, and you have to seize it, read, take care of your health, act, socialize, every moment that we choose badly, we are left behind, it happens to me too and it’s constant, but here I am, finding myself again, and I think it will work, I think it will be great, strengthen myself, overcome fears, take risks, keep writing, keep believing in this pencil that tells me, stay, make of me a thousand letters, millions of words, believe in my thoughts, I want to be a source of life, like you, like anyone who is capable of believing their pencils, or their imagination.
LIGTHS
I go the same way as yesterday, looking at the landscape through the window, it rains, the sky is gray and the drops hit the glass, I arrive at a place where it hails, then remember a bad moment, a bad decision, which marked me so much and I don't feel well, it bothers me, as Gabriel says, those little things are like the pebble in the shoe, how difficult it’s to remove that pebble, how difficult it is to forget the subject. I take out my book and start reading, I don't read the analysis of the work of a critic, I just want to read the work, the creation, I think that gives me more light, it illuminates me more, after reading for a while I see the landscape again, Colombia is full of mountains, vegetation, I get so used to that color that in part is what makes me live. Now the clouds walk next to me, they are like friends of my trip, they inspire me to take out my notebook now, to make the proper notes, my thoughts are writed down, my parnassus grows up, my Latin American diary gets fat, although it’s not only mine, I leave it here, but that’s not all, It’s just a part, I don’t think it’s the best but perhaps that will become. Now I see a paramo in the distance, a few white clouds, the eternal blue that I love, I keep it in my memory and I feel that it makes me grow, like the trip I’m on, the one I recently undertook, the sun is also in the background, caressing the snow, melting it, heating it, the light is perfect, the view too, this memory must be traced, a photo from my cell phone, a wink of my right eye, one more writing, a light on, a spotlight, a candle, an endless match has just been lit, those are my lights, I hope they never turn off, never extinguish.
UP
Up there, the place we are part of, that's at the beginning, and we're still there, well, some of us. Today I was waiting for good news and on the contrary it disappointed me, it happens frequently, all the time, sometimes I’m not as victorious as I want to be, you put all your effort in a project, I work hard, I’m constant, run when I have to, rest a little, make the most of my time, ask different people, go here or there, I embark on endless days, my energy runs out, all this in order to achieve that ideal, that long-awaited answer, that "yes" brilliant that I think would open my eyes and smile from ear to ear, but it doesn’t come, and it’s so definitive, nothing can change it, although that's the way it is, decisions are made and when one realizes the wrong it’s impossible to go back , and really, why go back? Sometimes things turn out so well, they are like perfect, as if each life were a song, a symphony, made by Mozart or Beethoven, whoever does well gets well, whoever does not, well, you will see, a symphony somehow terrifying will be created, and I don't want that, that's why I'm here, that's why I start to write with the vision of winning something, of getting the good, winning the good, that's what I want; therefore when I fall, when I get frustrated, when I get defeat, when I lose, I think how easy it’s to get up, how easy it’s to see the sky, as easy as setting another challenge, another goal, because I know that after the defeat, what saves me, so as not to panic, is that, looking for another way, forgetting and resisting, renewing, putting a sharper, more serious, more complex goal, that will strengthen me and make me win what I want one day, that much longed-for prize that I am looking for now, it may not be the next, but I know that when I look up there’s hope and there I want to continue seeing, and then speak only of triumphs, the ones I see when I continue to see there. Up.
PASSION
For a moment I was in stillness, after thinking that I could never achieve it, I thought my effort wasn’t enough, something stopped me, what was it? Was it a wall? A moment in my life?... It was a time of tension, things didn´t work out anywhere: job, study, home, things always difficult to deal with, youth arrived without warning and I only carried more weight in my backpack of books and notebooks. One has to focus very well to take out all of it, one has to feel free, and that's what we are, freedom, that’s what I represent now, nothing stops me, that wall is no longer there. It says it’s oneself, oneself builds it and destroys it whenever one want, sometimes it becomes easy and other times it takes time, I want to leave it behind, obstacles, they must be overcome every moment. A bath of cold water transports me to reality, music takes me out of it, black or white? Cold or hot? Balance? Everything is very relative, relevant. Being on two places at the same time, not even with my arms; but nothing is impossible, so now I get up again, I work, write, think, get ideas, let the good flows, I think that's my passion, let the things flow, sometimes the places I´m in do not convince me, but I may see a smile, that fills me, makes me move on, passion doesn´t seem like something that only some people have, it doesn´t seem to come from work or a place, it doesn´t seem to be far from me, I think it´s everywhere, in everything I see, what I feel, what I want and don´t want. I want to live the passion but not because of screams or football teams, I want to live my passion living, living in harmony, in peace, friendship, I believe that passion is in values more than in things, it seems to me that passion is more in the way I see life, in how I feel, in the curiosity that I have to explore here or there, I don´t think passion could be seen, it´s just something that is out there prowling, anywhere, and that must be caught regardless the circumstance.
KEEP THE LINE
Today the sun rises over the city, an infinite blue enters and small clouds appear over the mountain, they are white, at noon they settle on me, on the streets, the sounds of the cars are constant, endless, I liked it a lot the wind plus the sun, that softness pushing me forward while the sun warms my body, I want to be outside all the time, walking, knowing, greeting people, meeting them, being part of their lives, entering life and not leaving it, that should be my constant search, start, begin, deliver, smile, play, feed life with my energy, my writing is part of it, to give, propose new words, create them and recreate them, although sometime I could invent one or another, I know I can because I want to, you don't need many reasons when you want to live inspired, that inspiration often gets to be welcomed by others, and through my words others are created. Last time we came to the conclusion with a friend that when one thinks, when one writes, works, plays sports, becomes stronger in any activity, and in another place, very far from oneself, that is felt, a certain power reaches there and new forms of life are produced, other people create, smile, move, children play, pigeons all rise together, that seems impossible to believe, right? but after analyzing nature a bit, it´s true, we’re all connected and as I am doing this it seems that I am catching the inspiration that a man in Africa is having, I´m making it palpable through my words and thoughts, I hope that what I write here also inspires another person to build their dream.
TODAY
Today I start to write a blog, one more story, one more text, I hope to be better, better than yesterday, I haven’t forgotten to write, because I have always had it in my mind, I always wanted to do it, although I was always a bit disorganized too. I hope to write a lot of stories, letters, novels, perceptions about what I see and feel, and I hope they remain in the memory of some people, and I hope they also forget some others of my stories, I don’t know if this will be good, I don’t know if someone will like it or just me, what I know is that today I want to write, and tomorrow too, to think in something I love (I love creating), write a script for a movie, write a script for radio, I like to set tasks and do them the best possible, a person who writes always wants to improve himself, it’s true, I want to improve myself all the time, every moment, I don’t like doing work without motivation, I like to do things well, everything, who knows why? Before, when I had to run errands, I didn’t like it, but while I went and came back I forgot what I was doing, I just did it and had fun while walking, while playing, while learning new things; now, people speak to me about criteria, criticism, something that I had not wanted to understand much, I am rather someone who always wants to see positive things, but I do it, I have criteria, and I think I always had it; I laughed a lot, acts, people, facts, I always brought a small smile from things, but also about dresses, thoughts, words, I realize that I don't like everything, I have already formed a lot of my being to focus on things disconnected of me, I am just a part of the earth, a part of history, and I want to be an important part of this, a particle that shines, a word that is remembered, a note that is played, sung, I love this writing and since I have done it for a long time in notebooks, in my mind I have decided to write to the world, so he knows that there is someone who favors him, one more person who cares about giving something, a seed, a sigh, a day of his life, today.